“You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck”
- Rumi, 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic
I must say that this year for me so far has been an eventful one; for better and for worse.
For those of you who know me or have seen me as a client in the past few months, you will know that I have experienced two significant events this year; both around the end of February.
One, I returned to university (yay!!). After spending the last few years concentrating on hypnotherapy, I finally began the road of fulfilling an ambition and a dream to return to university to complete a degree in Psychology and I am now a student at Monash University.
Two, on the very first week of university; or to be specific, orientation week, I had an accident on my bike and broke 3 bones in my left foot. Woops.
Sitting in the emergency room at the hospital, it was only once I was shown my x-ray that I could quite believe what I had done. I mean, it really didn’t feel that bad! Certainly not as painful as it sounds. Upon hearing the news that I had broken bones (and right at the start of my first university semester at that), I was gutted. Me! Broken bones! It just didn’t make sense. I’m such a careful person, so risk averse. I’ve never so much as needed stitches in my life! But here I was contemplating crutches for the next 6 weeks at minimum.
It didn’t stop there though. Two weeks, two x-rays and a CT scan later, revealed ligament damage to the arch of my foot, and the surgeons advised that an operation would be needed. In this operation they would put in a metal plate and at least 4 screws, to support the foot so as it all heals in the right place. Long story short, that operation happened around the middle of March and here we are now.
It has been nearly four months since then and I can tell you for sure that I drastically underestimated the toll that this would take on me, physically and mentally, and just how long it would take to heal. I am pleased to say that I am finally out of the plaster cast, out of the moon boot and I am full weight bearing on these sexy runners (the only ones that I could manage to fit my swollen and sore foot in to)
from Kmart. However, I am far from walking normally and much further still, from getting back to all of the activities that I normally enjoy; running, hiking, bike riding. It’s been quite the ordeal.
So why am I telling you all of this?
Because I want to share my version of what it is to be determined and what it is to not let life stop you in your tracks.
Upon learning just how much damage I had done in the weeks following my injury, and that I would need multiple operations this year to get back to normal (in fact, I’m still not clear as to whether or not a full recovery is on the cards. I keep being told, ‘well you do have a particularly nasty injury there…..’), I could have thrown in the towel. Well-meaning friends and family said, ‘Why don’t you just defer university for a while whilst you recover. Take it easy, let yourself heal’. But I couldn’t. Though it wasn’t much fun traipsing around an unfamiliar university campus on crutches, I managed. Not without help of course. My family and my partner were amazing; driving me around, doing the grocery shopping, cleaning the house….. the list goes on. It’s amazing to me, the things that you simply cannot do on crutches! I never knew. As a person who is normally so independent, I really had to learn how to take a step back and ask for help. No man is an island, as they say.
Nowadays, I’m slowly on the mend, though it’s going to be a while yet. I’m doing painful sessions of weekly physiotherapy and hydrotherapy. Thankfully, my gym has a pool, so I have faithfully been swimming and ‘pool walking’ at least twice per week. In September I will go back in to hospital to get all of the metal wear out, and then I will start physio all again. I really don’t know how long it will take to get back to a point where I am walking without pain, let alone getting back to old activities, but I’m feeling positive about the road there. Which brings me to my next point; I’m feeling abundant. I am lucky.
What this injury has taught me is that we really never know what is around the corner; what life has in store. I now try to take life much slower. Well, I literally have to. I appreciate my body for what it can do, not what it looks like. I think more carefully about where, what and who I give my energy to; after all, it is a precious commodity these days. I try not to take anything for granted; my health, my energy, the people around me. Don’t get me wrong, I have had my moments. Moments where I have felt sorry for myself. Depressed, isolated and unsure about my recovery. But I would like to think that those moments have been fleeting, and I try to pick myself up and keep moving forward. After all, people go through much much worse things in life, and I am so lucky to have access to the treatment that I have had and to have the people in my life who continue to support me.
It’s not always easy, but I choose to live life from a mind-set of abundance rather than a mind-set of scarcity. Whenever I feel that I never have enough, whether it is enough time, energy, love, health, money, you name it; I remind myself that thinking in terms of scarcity, creates scarcity. Focusing on scarcity, means living in a world of competition, struggle and fear. Of never having enough. Of never being enough.
When you live from a mind-set of abundance, you move from struggle and a 'what can I get out of this' mentality, to a mind-set of generosity and giving. There is a shift in perspective. To be truly abundant is to give freely and to live in service of others.
Research shows over and over again that gratitude contributes to happiness. When we are not living from a mind-set of abundance and gratitude, we find ourselves lost and vulnerable. We find ourselves listening to the greatest myths; the deep rumblings in our soul that tell us that we need 'more' or we need to 'be more'.
When we truly learn to live from a mind-set of abundance, we learn that in fact we ARE abundance; we have everything that we need already within. And what I have learned is that indeed, I AM abundant in everything that I could ever need.
Which brings me to my next chapter. After a rough first part of the year, I will be heading off to Bali in July to get some well-deserved R&R, but primarily, to complete some training in a therapy that I love (and that many of you have heard me talk about, if not seen me use), called Resource Therapy. Resource therapy is a Parts based therapy which centres its theory on the idea that the personality is made up of parts. It is a brief, powerful and lasting psycho-dynamic therapy which I am excited to learn more about and develop my skills in. If you would like to know a bit more about Resource therapy, click here.
So the next time you hear from me, I will be back from Bali and telling you all about my experiences there and the things that I have learned. Until then, stay well, stay focused and remember; you are abundant.
"Our destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things"
- Henry Miller, Writer
Pertiwi Resort & Spa, Ubud, Bali